Happy New Year! & Optimism did you stay in 2011?

I may explode!! The entire Christmas season this year has not been kind to me. The end of 2011 was probably one of the worst health wise in this family. But it could always be worse. Right?


I started this entry tonight as a way to let off some steam. Steam at the mounting bills, the mounds of laundry and the lack of help. But I quickly realize how lucky I am. 

Things could always be worse.



It seems like there was one health crisis after another in this house and then ended with my father in the hospital New Year's Eve. He had suffered a blood clot in his lung. But lives to tell the tale. Thank Goodness.

But he reminded me tonight that there were a lot of people suffering far worse than him in that hospital, that life is short, precious and fragile and we need to hold tight to what we love.
While I thought I wanted to rant about how awful things have been, I really want to say ..............

Happy New Year!!  Do something this year that you've always wanted to do, hold on to your loved ones and make time for friends and family. 
Bonne année et bonne santé !

Cheers !

Bronchitis and Ba humbug!!

On Remembrance Day here in Canada, I set off with three girlfriends and headed to Bangor, Maine. Shopping list, coupons, and optimism in hand I set out ready to prevail over the last minute Christmas rush. 

Enter cold and flu: On the car ride to Bangor, my throat was sore and a cough plagued my speech. I sat quietly eating a bagful of Halls. And I can only say that sitting for a 3 hour car ride eating nothing but Halls causes some horrible stomach pains. It began raining and when we started out at our first stop, my feet were wet, I was hacking and I wanted to sleep.

I don't remember much of the trip, except trying not to bawl while standing in a  45 minute line up at The Christmas Tree Store and not knowing exactly what I bought. I came home with bags, and threw them in the downstairs office, locked it up, climbed into bed and stayed that way for 2 weeks.

It is not an exaggeration to say that 4 weeks later I am finally feeling closer to normal. I have just recently continued my Christmas shopping and any mother knows that I am already behind. This week we have 4 fundraisers at school, a sock hop, dress rehearsals for Christmas plays (ie, the costume for your child had better be made, or bought by now!!) and a ballet recital.

The 44 Christmas cards I usually send out, are not yet written and I barely put up my Christmas tree.
Every year I am filled with joy at the Holiday season, baking, wrapping, decorating, Christmas carols. I am excited and happy. However, this year I feel panic stricken, sick to my stomach and exhausted.

To top it all off I am pretty sure that my ten year old peeked at her presents! and we all know what that means!! 
I just need to take a deep breath and try to enjoy because at this rate, people are getting presents stuffed in garbage bags and I will  be listening to SlipKnot instead of Bing Crosby.

and as I sign off, another set of lights on my Christmas tree has gone out...
Mistletoe Fruitcake..

No Coffee!!

I woke up this morning feeling like today was going to be a great day! I was going to get a jump on everything I've been putting off. Housekeeping, bills, calls to people I've been ignoring. (I am only human) I was going to get it all done.
Yet this morning I woke up to start that pot of liquid gold only to find out there was none left. This isn't entirely true. There was enough for one travel mug. For my husband's to be exact, who leaves our home to travel to his job. But since I am at home I gave up my cup of happiness to him. Aren't I wonderful? Don't be too impressed. He filled his own cup and left for work while I watched and didn't throw a tantrum. 

What is it about that delicious aroma that fills the air? The rich robust flavor, the dark velvety drink that swirls into your cup and that first sip that send shivers of satisfaction from the tip of your toes to your hair follicles?

I  have considered myself a coffee addict for at least 10  years. I need it to survive.  My life doesn't end, but it isn't pretty!!
Growing up my friends mother had a sign that read, "Don't ask me until I've had my coffee". I am thinking about duplicating it. Seriously, if you find one, send it to me.!!

I love all kinds of coffee, dark, light, flavored, latte's, mocha's, cappuccino's there is a place for all in my addiction.  I recently had the Starbucks Pumpkin Spice Latte which I had been craving for a year. It was wonderful and the  Salted Carmel Mocha kinds blew my mind. 

I even have a thing for Tim Horton's Double Doubles. Until recently I have been getting a regular. But once and while I will go for that large Double Double..in the Christmas cups or Roll up the Rim, those are my favorite. In the summer, I am a huge fan of their Ice Caps. Who isn't really.

As you are probably well aware, I am in very much need of a coffee.

So on that note I am off to see what my neighbors drink and if its coffee, make new friends.

What I'm going to tell my daughters....

• Life in general is shitty, you forget to pay bills on time, you aren't organized enough to remember your auto insurance renewal, your car inspection or you license renewal...this shit will catch up to you and bite you in the ass big time. So get some organization in your life A.S.A.P. No one is going to do this for you and you can only blame your spouse for so long (5 years..people catch on.)

• It is the flu, the cold, a sinus infection. While you're little soak up all the "me" time you can, because when you get older, your spouse, your children and your job won't care. In fact they will be upset at you when you are sick, your life will belong to them. 

• Women will complain that it isn't fair that men say women can not get a job done and are not as equal as men because once a month they are bitchy. They are right it isn't fair that men say that. But not because it isn't true, because it is. The reason is that men have no right to complain about anything we women deal with. Their interior lining doesn't shed vast amounts of blood once a month. They don't feel like there are people drilling holes in the their lower abdomen and therefore they should shut their face.

• Being a woman is the most wonderful thing. We are very lucky in so many ways for example... cute shoes,  cute bras, hairstyles,make up, and motherhood.. But it is a draining position to be in at times for example .....cute shoes, cute bras, hairstyles, makeup and motherhood. 
• Learn to take the good with the bad and dance through the shit, because there is going to be a lot of it so instead of being cranky and bitter we might as well be happy and look crazy.

The Halloween Party.

This past weekend found my husband and I at a Halloween Party. This was our first Halloween party we have ever found ourselves at in the 10 years since becoming parents. We are new to the Halloween scene, so we went with something fun, yet simple.  As big fans of Mad Men we went for the 1960's husband and wife and although it was a tad understated compared to the other mass murders, vampires and witches alike,we enjoyed playing the role. In fact that evening we sat down with a glass of wine and put on some "Bleeker Street" by Simon & Garfunkel. I was applying, and reapplying my "retro red " lips and telling the children to "run along now".  I was really getting into my Betty Draperish role. It turned out to be a good evening, a lot of laughs and after heading out for an evening of dancing I found myself researching which character I could become for next year's adventure. (My husbands hoping for a scantily clad lady cop.)

  Halloween is not my favorite holiday, in fact Halloween is not a holiday at all. We don't get a day off for it. It's just a day we celebrate and sometimes it can be a pain in my ass.

 However this year I finally understood that I had been depriving myself of the chance to be someone else for the night. All of the adults were having a great time! Cleopatra, was never as carefree in her life as she was this night. Cruella Devil, was both mean and as cute as a button, and the Hippies, were well what every good hippie should be...! I will admit, I was a tad rusty at staying in character ( double rye and gingers didn't help either) but I did have great time and who knows? Maybe next year I will be asking you for your "license and registrations please".

Happy Halloween!

It's that time of year again. The time of year I wish I would have waited a few more days before buying my candy because myself and my entire family have eaten the stash.

It's that time of year again. When I wish we lived in Northern California and not Atlantic Canada, where wearing your snowsuit under you costume is  a possiblity.

It's that time of year again. When little ghouls and goblins are out roaming the streets, grinning ear to ear while stashing bags full of free candy.

Its that time of year again. When I  look at my 3 measly pumpkins rotting on our front lawn and wonder if I will ever get it together to put something up, like that cool glow in the dark 6 foot pumpkin, which has a sleeping cat on top of it sitting regally on the lawn across the road.

It's that time of year again. When I thank my lucky stars I didn't pay the 100 bucks for that 6 foot, glow in the dark pumpkin, which has a sleeping cat on top of it as it deflates and blows down the road.

Trick or Treat Everyone !

Stay safe.

Body vs Brain

I was never one of those people who was always fit, or even thin, or "hot". I have always been one of those people who was cute, curvy, and pretty. I envied girls who were tall and shapely in the right areas. I learned to love myself eventually and after I had my first child I put every thought into raising her and my studies. I didn't think about what I was putting into my mouth, or my physical activity. . at all. Until I seen a picture of me and I was unrecognizable to myself. I started catching glimpses of myself in the mall windows and realized I had been happy with me...up until I wasn't happy with me. I began getting up early and  doing routines in my living room and dropped the weight.  Yeah me!!

Then Baby No. 2 came along and I pretty much did the same thing. I gave every waking moment to her first 2 years of life.  Looking back I realize that maybe I could have balanced that better. 2 years ago I lost the weight, only this time I am not looking to have a "hot bod" any more, this time I am concentrating on a forever lifestyle. It's challenging.

Any mother knows that life is busy, throw in a job and extracurricular activities and it's pure hell to try and squeeze out that drop of "me" time. But I have learned that I am much more agreeable after an hour at the gym. I feel happier and lighter. My main focus is my health. Mentally and Physically the gym provides me with the stability to ...well lets face it...not go insane. This motherhood thing is rough.

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Tonight I took a fellow mom with me to the gym. It had been her first time in 7 years and she has put every ounce of herself into her two children. Every spare moment is dedicated to them.  She finally took some "me" time today.  I think she was disappointed with her appearance, and felt uncomfortable in her body ( I still think she is amazingly beautiful) and I understand her plight. Its a little bit like being in someone else's body. It feels a bit like a dream.  However, the first step is to just move your body and embrace that you did it and you did good.

There are all different shapes and sizes in this world, but in the end we have to love ourselves in order to love our kids and try to be the best of our selves that we can be.